being open

If you have read thru my posts you will have noticed that I try to be open and honest about myself and how I am feeling. I do this because as the title suggests this is my walk with God. I am human and I make many mistakes. The reason why my website is called the least of His children is because I have brought shame to the Lord many times thru my drinking, using drugs, marrying 3 different times, and then finally being a lesbian which I have given up.

Because of my sins and the sins of others in my life I have had a very hard time in life. Here I am at 48 years old and feeling like I wasted so much of my life. Just about any type of suffering a woman can face I have gone thru. I have been beaten, raped, had my children abused by my ex husbands, used drugs, used alcohol, been depressed and atempted suicide, been abused as a child, lost a child (thru a forced abortion by my parents), gone hungry, thirsty, been homeless, had cancer, and now have many disablities as a result of my hard life. I have asked my Heavenly Father and my Lord and Saviour Jesus thru the Holy Spirit to forgive me and to forgive others who have hurt me and misused me and my children. And because I was a lesbian I also know in great detail what men go thru with women also.

There are not many problems that anyone has that I can't related to. But yet do I take pride in my hard life? NO! Because much of it was a result of not listening to the Lord. All of it is garbage, none of it matters. The only thing that really matters and did matter was that thru it all the bad and the few good times my Lord was with me and helped me. Even when I turned away from the narrow path He went looking for me. my God has been there every step of the way, and for that I thank HIM!!

So if you are suffering in anyway or feel guilt have hope! If God helped me then surely He will help you. Sometimes it will be right away, sometimes it will take years, sometime thru a miracle and sometimes thru the ordinary. HE will always give you want you need. Not what you want but what you need.